How To Build A Relationship With God | From Addict To “Jesus Freak”- My Story
8 Ways to Go From a Lukewarm Christian to Having An Unbreakable Bond With God | Finding God in All Things
In this post, I will be sharing my story of how I went from a lukewarm “Christian” to a follower of God, and my best tips on how you can too.
I was raised in a Lutheran family, went to Sunday school, and was told “God is the big man upstairs.” I always just assumed what all the adults around me were saying was true, but being so young, I didn’t actually have a clue what they were talking about.
I always said I was Christian and believed in God, but I didn’t know what that really meant until much later.
When I was around 12, I had some family stuff happen on top of normal teenage-hood, trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged, and I fell onto the wrong path pretty quickly.
I was never fully atheist, but I definitely didn’t have the same faith as I did before (if you can even call it that at such a young age). I fell into alcohol, drugs, lust, you name it. Whatever the wrong choice was, I always seemed to choose it. Even if I knew it wasn’t right.
My relationship with God was basically non-existent, but even in my lowest time when I wasn’t sure if there was a God at all, I still felt convicted when I was choosing all of these vices.
I let the voice of the world get in my head to say the very least, and it took me hitting rock bottom to finally look up.
I had been dating a guy who continued to break my heart. I was keeping myself in the same cycle I had been in for years. We constantly argued and I finally had my wits end when he publicly humiliated me in front of all our friends.
Sounds like it may not be big deal, but this was one of the many times in our relationship I questioned if he had any respect for me at all. Instead of arguing with him in front of friends or pulling him aside to talk, I just got up and left.
I walked away in silence towards the empty field that was my friend’s backyard. I stood against her fence, and I just looked up. For the first time, I didn’t look into a bottle or in a mirror, but I looked up.
I asked myself why I constantly found myself in these situations. Constantly hurt, disrespected, and empty. I had chased the world for so long I finally had to stop and breathe.
Then I realized the thing that changed my life: The only person to blame was me, myself, and I.
I was the one who chose guys and friends that disappointed me, I was the reason I was an addict, I was the reason I felt so unfulfilled. And the only way I could fix myself was not through myself at all, but through God.
The “hole” I had felt for so many years was shaped like God.
I can’t really describe the exact feeling I felt when I had this realization. I guess the best word would be peace. Like I had finally solved a difficult math problem. Like I had finally found the solution I had been searching for since I was 12.
I swear I was a different person pulling into my friend’s driveway than I was driving out. From that night forward, I stopped drinking, smoking, acting on lust, all of it. Oh, and I broke up with that guy 🙂
Of course, I’ve still had rough periods of temptation, but nothing like before. And when I do, it’s way easier to pull myself out and see the bigger picture.
The amount of peace having a relationship with God brings is unmatched and truly indescribable to anyone who hasn’t felt it. It’s a literal weight lifted off. You realize how worthless worldly possessions are, you don’t need to feel as in control, human behavior makes more sense, literally everything changes in the best way possible.
I could go into way more detail about my life story and my journey with God, but for now this should be a healthy lead into the 8 best ways I built my relationship with God after I had my “ah-ha” moment (and a little before then too).
- Surround Your Life With Him and Slowly Decrease Secular Things
This can be done with literally everything in your life, but I started with music, clothing, and jewelry. It sounds simple, but these three things mean a lot to a teenage girl.
I swapped out rap and pop for Christian R&B and soul music. Some of my favorite artists are Madison Ryann Ward, Franchesca, John Mark Pantana, Cleo Sol, and CAIN. Here’s a link to my Spotify playlist.
As Aristotle said thousands of years ago, “music penetrates the soul.” The type of music you listen to really does have an affect on you. Listening to worship songs in the car and during your workout gives you that much more Jesus in your life.
Next, let’s talk about clothing. I never dressed super scandalous, but I was by no means modest. Finding clothing where I actually enjoyed the message on it motivated me to wear it more often.
Here are links to my favorite (and affordable) Christian clothing brands to share His message:
I also think jewelry is a good reminder that He is always with you. I’m always wearing my cross necklace, and I would love to get a bracelet/ring/earrings that have faith behind them as well. I found my necklace at Marshalls for pretty cheap, you can really find them anywhere. Some of the brands I listed above also sell jewelry.
2. You’ll Starve If You Only Eat on Sundays | The Importance of Consistency
If you grew up like me, really the only time my family talked about God was during Sunday church service. For a while I thought God was just a Sunday thing lol.
The issue with this is 1. you’re only making time for Him for one hour, one day a week. 2. You’re acting as if God is just some task you shove into your weekly to-do list.
Yes, going to church on Sunday is great, but what about the other 167 hours a week? Pray daily. Read the Word daily. Read books about Him. Talk about Him. Listen to podcasts about Him. Listen to music about Him.
You’ll never know Him if you’re putting no effort into the relationship. If you start feeling far away from God, remember He’s not the one that moved.
3. Make a List of Sins You Know are Most Important to Work On
When I first started my journey, I knew there was a lot wrong with me. But you have to it step by step and piece by piece, you can’t expect to be near perfect in 6 months. I suggest you write down a list of the top 5-8 things you think are really hindering your potential for embodying Christ.
For example, my list consisted of less gossiping, less judging, less secular music, less lust, and more modest.
Once you become more conscious of your actions, it becomes way easier to break the pattern.
Pray about these things, read verses about them, listen to other people’s story about them.
Track your progress- in 6 months, you’ll look back and see how differently you react and handle things.
4. Read books, Do Research, Find Evidence
For years, I was skeptical of God’s existence. I always thought there was a higher power out there, but I wasn’t just going to take my mom’s word anymore like when I was younger. I needed to find out for myself if there was logical evidence that God existed.
I read classical philosophical, theological, and political texts all throughout high school. Books B.C such as Aristotle and Plato (even before Christ they believed in objective Truth). And of course, A.D books such as Dostoevsky, C.S Lewis, Aquinas, and my favorite- Saint Augustine. I’ll go into more detail about him in a second, but first I want to say these books taught me more than Google ever could. Hearing these brilliant minds speak about the same eternal Truth of God made a very convincing case. All of these authors from different periods of time, never met each other, yet saying the same thing, sharing their own story even we can relate to in today’s time period.
I highly recommend if you are on the fence, need your questions answered, or just want to learn more about the history and effects of God, to check out these authors. You can find cheap copies here and here.
Here is my spiel on Confessions by Saint Augustine, if you prefer to skip and keep reading tips, click here.
If you haven’t read it, I highly suggest you do. Christian or not, it is the most relatable and touching book I ever read. It will probably be my favorite book for the rest of my life. You can find a cheap copy here.
I’ve never been a big fan of reading, but this book was the first one to actually make me feel something (I cried!) It covers all bases- grief, lust, friendship, “situationships”, feeling unworthy, literally every human emotion ever is covered in this 250-page book.
It follows the journey of a lust-blinded, atheist man who had to be convinced for years that God existed. When he finally became a believer, he struggled for almost the rest of his life with sexual immorality. He didn’t understand how he could finally see God, and still have this deep struggle. And he definitely didn’t understand how God could love him through it.
He finally has this life changing realization (again just like me, we were even in a similar setting) where he opens to a random passage in the bible, and it tells him the exact words he needs to hear. What are the chances of that? He finally had his confirmation- not only was God real, but He loved him even through Augustine’s intense struggle and past sinful life.
And the craziest part- it was written 1000 years ago. I realized someone from over 1000 years ago (and a man, at that) was somehow going through the exact same things as me (well, not exact, but the emotions were mirrored). How is that possible? I realized a simple yet groundbreaking fact: there must be something eternal in human nature. We really are all the same. And how can that be explained? There must be something higher than us that instilled in us objective morals, emotions, and experiences. There must be a creator that built us this way.
Along the same lines as reading classical books, there are plenty of resources out there arguing for God’s existence. Here are some websites I think you can learn something from:
Scopes Monkey Trial (Tennessee man arrested for teaching evolution in a very Christian school, a long read but worthwhile. Coincides evolution with the Bible)
36 ARGUMENTS FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD | Edge.org
Top 10 Most Common Atheist Arguments, and Why They Fail | A Russian Orthodox Church Website
There are also plenty of podcasts and other social media platforms that go into great detail about His existence, debunking atheists arguments, etc.
One thing I’ve learned (the hard way) is you will never outsmart an infinite being. No matter how strong you think your argument against God is, there’s a source out there giving you evidence as to how you’re wrong. You just have to look in the right places.
5. Make a Prayer Journal using the S.O.A.P Method
If you’re not sure how/where to start studying and understanding the Bible, try starting with Genesis and use the S.O.A.P method
Scripture- write down the verse.
Observation- what do you notice about the verse? what is the significance?
Application- how can you apply this to your daily life?
Prayer- pray to have the strength to apply the verse to your life and the wisdom to understand what you can gain from it.
Doing this daily for 15-30 minutes will be a game changer. You’ll see the passages start to show up in your life, and you’ll see the change in yourself.
6. Is Church Actually Good for Me?
When I first started mu journey, I was hesitant to attend church. You hear awful things about it, how they brainwash you, shun people who aren’t like them, are very ingenuine, etc.
I wanted to figure out who I was and who God was without the church screaming in my ear. I wanted to make sure what I was consuming was true and straight from sources- not some fake megachurch “sermons” that are really more like concerts.
So, for a while I stayed away. Until one day I was scrolling on Instagram and Noah Herrin came across my page, a pastor from Tennessee. He posted something that said
“Jesus still loves the church because He didn’t come for the healthy but the sick. What if instead of leaving the church after you were hurt…you stayed and showed others how to do things the Jesus way? What if instead of leaving the church you helped solve the problems so others wouldn’t have to go through what you did? What If instead of leaving the church you did the incredibly hard thing that doesn’t make a lot of sense. What if you stayed like Jesus?” –Noah Herrin
He also quoted Tony Evans when he said “You don’t need church to be a Christian. You also don’t have to go home to be married. But stay away long enough and the relationship will be affected.”
Both of these quotes are pretty impactful to say the least. I don’t think they require much explanation but definitely something to sit on for a while.
I completely understand how you can be hesitant to go to church. But maybe that’s exactly what the enemy wants! God still loves the church, and we should too.
The key is finding a good church. A traditional church that only teaches straight from scripture. Not a megachurch that doesn’t even touch the Bible and cares more about putting on a show. If you don’t like the first church you go to, try another one! And another. Eventually, you will find one that resonates with you.
I also recommend following Noah Herrin’s Instagram! He’s got amazing stuff on there- real and raw, not “I’m a perfect Christian” influencer.
This leads me into my next tip…
7. Follow along with blogs/vlogs/creators and surround yourself with people who are in the same boat as you.
It’s easy to fall out of routine when no one is holding you accountable and you can’t see yourself in anyone else.
When you fill your phone and daily activities with people who are just starting out their journey it really helps make you feel less alone, and you’ll get great tips and new perspectives you may not have gotten otherwise.
Subscribe to blogs, YouTube channels, listen to podcasts, and find people near you that you can create community with. Clubs on campus or groups on social media platforms are a great way to do this
8. Last but not least, look up!
I’ll quote myself when I say instead of looking in a mirror, at other people, or in bottles to fix your problems, LOOK UP! He is there; you just have to look.
Ask and He will show up.
Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; Seek, and you will find; Knock, and it will be opened to you”
In this post I discussed tips, habits, and resources to build your relationship with God.
Leave a comment and start building that community with like-minded people!
This Post Was Written By: Ava Christiana, a 19-year-old college student hoping to lead the youth towards Jesus. 5 Uncommon Reasons To Stay Fit | Defining Modesty – FaithFinance&Fitness
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